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Need help dealing with a problem.

2K views 6 replies 4 participants last post by  James04LB7 
#1 ·
I will start off by saying growing up I was a momma's boy. I arrived to Afghanistan late June 2011. My first mission I went out on July 5th, my convoy was hit with an IED/ambush amd it was a huge eye opener for me. I had to talk about it with someone so I talked with my dad about it, we agreed not to tell mom. Well my good friend who was out with me that day told his wife(who is very good friends with my fiance) all the details and stuff. Well as you can guess my fiance found out no big deal just a small but chewing, but one day my buddies wife and my fiance were over at my parents house and this day got brought up. Buddies wife spilled everything about that day. Needless to say my next call to my mom was her freaking out on me. Since everytime I talk to my mom she pulls the worried mom stuff on me, wants to know everything(no more hiding things she says). Well I love my mom but the worried mom stuff really bothers me and it has gotten to the point where I just email her and call my dad at work. And my dad says my mom feels like I hate her now, which I don't. I know my mom loves me and cares about me, but talking to her on the phone anymore just really gets to me. Have any of you had any experience with this? How'd you deal with it?

Any help or suggestions will greatly help guys.

On a softer happy note, I am just under 2 months out from getting to break in my new allison:gearjamin

thanks guys
JD
 
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#2 ·
i had a similar problem,.... i got shot twice and thank god it got stopped by the vest (6 broken ribs), i sent a letter to my dad giving him a heads up and told him not to tell my mom about it. The marines gave me a new vest and my commander let me keep the old one as a souvenir so i sent it home (addressed to my brother). when the package got home my mom saw the postage on the box and immediately opened it (despite being addressed to my brother). She figured out what it was real quick and FREAKED OUT.
The whole image that i was on a big base away from the fighting (while really in the heart of fallujah) was blown to chit.
The only thing that helped the situation was when i got home and just laid it out for her. I told her it was okay for her to worry about me cause that what mothers do, but she has to understand that ur a MAN and what ur doing is your decision. Though it doesn't make her happy, she needs to SUPPORT you so you can FOCUS on GETTING IT DONE and GETTING HOME.
I know it sounds kinda chiche but u gotta be straight with her man. If anything, you won't have to hear it as much. Good luck.
 
#3 ·
james,

whats up fister! lets see if this can help. your NCO's set you up for failure. they should have sat you down and had the talk with you about what you are going to see and or have happen, and how to relate those experiences to your loved ones back home without violating OPSEC and causing problems and getting everybody all worried.

so the lesson has now been learned the hard way. tips for when it happens agains or god for bid the next go around (tour).

you have to start off by explaining to your family that things will happen that you just cant talk about over the phone or internet, you would love to share it with them but it will have to wait until you come back on R&R or when your tour is over. by saying this to them you also have to explain that its not because you dont want to share it with them its because if and when you do they will all get bent out of shape (because they dont understand it all) and that will just compound problems on all sides.

this also goes along with what joe said about explaining to the family that you are grown, this was your decision, and that you need them to support you fully wether they like it or not.

by the way hows you truck that you little brother is driving around? and did you ever get those poictures of the DYNCORP trucks? the guys on that thread are waiting for pics?! like i said PM me or email me if you ever need anything
 
#5 ·
You guys are awesome! Shot at, IED's and you still think about your moms. My hat is off to the both of you and thanks for your service!
 
#6 ·
^ thanks man, and your support is much appreciated. :drink

And fisher, on my second deployment we ended up going to the same exact place, but this time i was straight up with my family and even wrote my mom letters at least twice a month (my dad said would cry when reading them and was so happy about each one that she still reads them whenever she gets upset). It definitely helped ease a lot of that deployment tension for everybody. And, I know that nowadays a lot of u guys have access to satellite phones- or some form of communication,- but she will really appreciate a good old fashioned letter.
 
#7 ·
Thanks for all the input guys. I may call my mom this evening and explain to her all this. On a side note has anyone noticed how retarded a unit gets when they are close to redeployment? Man whew this is the most stressful part for me.

nmeyer- I haven't got to snap some pics yet, been doing the whole getting prepared for redeployment thing. And as far as my little brother and my truck goes, he only drove it the one time, now she sits at my house and the fiance drives it a few times a week. (gets hit on to when she drives it) I am just ready to get back home and be normal again.

thanks again guys, maybe the somewhat local guys we can get together somewhere when i return home have a few beers and some wings..
 
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