you might be a redneck

[tshideler]

sorry I couldn't get the link to work, guess that makes me one! try this take a test are you a redneck? CHECK OUT PART 2- Video

[farm kid]

You Might Be A Redneck if >>
If you've ever been too drunk to fish..

You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.

You think safe sex is when the participants are married to each other.

The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"

You think people who have electricity are uppity.

You've never paid for a haircut.

Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You think state employees make too much money.

You can't schedule a family reunion until after the parole board meets.

You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You fish in your above-ground pool, especially if you catch something!

You have a rag for a gas cap.

It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You think re-booting your machine refers to kicking the truck tires the second time it won't start.

You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You wore curlers to your wedding so you would look nice at the reception.

You give away more free puppies than the Humane Society.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever run down a bowling lane and slid into the pins.

Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

You keep a pellet gun by the front door.

You think that anyone who has ten toes and fingers is abnormal.

You think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

If you best coon hound gets a birthday present and your wife doesn't.

You think the Mountain Men in deliverance were just "Misunderstood".

Your wife's brass knuckles set off the airport security alarm.

Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

Your junior-senior prom had a daycare center.

You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".

You've ever vacationed in a rest area.

Everything you won at the fair is hanging from your rearview mirror.

You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

If someone asks for your ID and you show 'em your belt buckle..

Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

If your favorite restaurant has the word "Eats" any where in the name.

You can smoke a cigarette to the end without knocking off the ash.

You've ever been arrested on an obscene mud-flap charge.

There is a wasp nest in your living room.

If your back yard catches on fire and CNN reports a "Major Tire Fire".

Brake set?" is what you hear right before you and your wife/girl make love

You can count the number of teeth you have on one hand.

You know you're a redneck if you wake up with both a black eye and a hickey.

Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You own more than 30 inbred cats.

The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

Your mom has ever been in a fistfight at a school sporting event.

Someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

The kids are going hungry because you had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

There are more fish on your wall than pictures.

You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired" people.

You burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You grow your sideburns longer & fuller because it looks so good on your sister.

If your mother has more chest hair than your father.

If you smoked during your wedding..

You do not know anyone who owns less than ten guns.

Anything outside the Lower 48 is "overseas."

You've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!".

You sell rabbits out of your car.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

If people ask to hunt in your front yard..

Foreplay consists of slipping off her saddle

Your Christmas cards have a xerox copy of your butt included.

Your idea of a good Saturday night is shooting rats at the dump.

Your local funeral home has a neon sign in the window.

If extra seating in your house means sending Billie Bob for a log from the wood pile.

There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

Beurau of Alcohol Tobbaco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can loose them or not.

You think that vienna sausages, saltines, moon pie and a RC cola is a gourmet meal.

You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You've ever worn a halter top to a wedding.

The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Your muffler is held on by a coat hanger.

Fewer than half of your cars run.

Your family tree has no forks in it!

You shop for groceries at a gas station.

You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You've ever hitchhiked naked,

You have a cigarette hangin' out of your mouth in your wedding pictures.

You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'

You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines." or "Play Ball..."

Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it...

An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

Going to the bathroom late at night requires shoes and a flashlight.

You can eat a McDonald's cheeseburger in one bite.

You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

Your driveway is bordered by half-buried tractor tires.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.

You were shooting pool when your kids were born.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

The hood and one door are a different color than the rest of your car.

[05 3500 2wd]

Your truck is worth more than you house.

You can haul your house with your truck.

[farm kid]

you might be a red neck if u have 6 or more cars in your yard.
you might be a redneck if ur dad walks u to school.

[tshideler]

you guys covered about all of em

[tshideler]

thought the last post didn't work, HAHA fooled me

[Tow Master]

Bahahaaa... Thats awesome! I was gonna skip over this post and glad I didnt.. Made my day!

Love the wooden chopper

[sudsy]

You might be a redneck if your wifes hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan

[usafracer]

Those are funny.

[HillbillyDeluxe22]

if your truck is taller then your house