When you turn your key to START, the ignition switch passes power to circuit 1020 the pink wire to the BCM. BCM messages the ECM that you have turned the key to start. ECM has some checks like making sure the transmission is in neutral or park on circuit 1786 orange/black wire. If OK to start, it sends power to the starter relay on pin 86, circuit 625 yellow/black. You aren't getting anything on that pin so check to make sure it has a ground and that it is receiving power from the ECM. Something before the starter relay is not correct for starting. But you know if you manually power the relay, everything else works fine. Ignition switch? BCM? Transmission? They all have to work correctly.
Pin 85 is the battery cable supplying power to the starter when the relay is activated.
The starter fuse has power only when the relay is closed. You said you had no power on pin 85, I wonder what made the relay close and pass power to the starter fuse?
Pin 85 is the control (ground) side of the relay. It would have a circuit to the engine block or any other ground point - they're essentially the same thing.
I have no idea what tuner you have or its capabilities, sorry, just can't help there.
That chart is giving you the possibilities about what to check, to keep you from checking for impossible conditions. Unfortunately, U0100 shows up almost everywhere. In basic terms, if a wire has power and is grounded (shorted) you will have voltage up to the ground (short) point and nothing beyond. That is somewhat like a broken wire - power up to the break, nothing beyond, except that if you just insulate the grounded wire, the circuit becomes functional again, or repair the broken wire.